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50 Beauty Resolutions

October 29, 2006

from FemaleNetwork.com

      1. I will keep all my makeup sponges clean and crud-free. After all, sponges are for putting on makeup, not mud.

      2. I will keep my eyebrows groomed. Stubble is sexy on Italian men, not my brow bone.

      3. I will use conditioner on my hair.

      4. I will use pore strips to keep my nose whitehead-free.

      5. I will get a pedicure regularly. I don’t want to look like a troll.

      6. I will trim my nose hairs. Enough said.

      7. I will not prick my zits. This will eventually cause scars.

      8. I will throw out my old makeup. If it smells like rotten fruit, it goes into the trash.

      9. I will not put makeup on while driving. It will cause uneven makeup application and possible automobile accidents.

      10. I will not use face powder that is too white for my face. I am not a Japanese Kabuki actor.

      11. I will have my bigote removed (In case I even come out on TV in full close up.)

      12. I will get a hot oil when I need one. It’s good for the hair, it’s good for the soul.

      13. I will wash and clean my hair brushes.

      14. I will get a haircut every 4 to 5 weeks. I don’t want to look like an overgrown fern.

      15. I will exfoliate! I do not want to be a scaly reptile.

      16. I will not smoke and put on hair spray at the same time. Hair spray is so eighties, really.

      17. I will put on moisturizer every night.

      18. I will use sunblock even when I’m not at the beach. Rays today, raisins tomorrow.

      19. I will not stop using that chocolate brown/mauve/coral lipstick from the mid-nineties.

      20. I will not match my eyeshadow with my clothes.
      21. I will stop wearing pink foundation. Caladryl is for itches, not for the face.

      22. I will start experimenting with new makeup styles.

      23. I will keep my makeup kit neat and organized.

      24. I will experiment with nail colors other than beige.

      25. I will shave or wax my legs when I wear a skirt or shorts.

      26. I will get a bikini wax if I have to wear a bikini or swimsuit.

      27. I will not straighten/curl/dye my hair every month. Stressed hair is ugly hair.

      28. I will use eye cream.

      29. I will immediately remove chipped nail polish.

      30. I will not sleep with makeup on. Just think of the pillows and bed sheets the morning after.

      31. I will exfoliate my lips and use lip balm regularly.

      32. I will keep hand sanitizer handy all the time.

      33. I will always have a pack of tissues with me.

      34. I will stop buying the same shade of lipstick.

      35. I will not wear orange eyeshadow.

      36. I will buy a new bath lily or loofah when the old one looks like a dead rat.

      37. I will go to the spa at least once before I’m 50.

      38. I will have my teeth cleaned every six months.

      39. I will clean my makeup brushes every two weeks and replace them when they fall apart.

      40. I will moisturize my elbows.

      41. I will stop wearing tri-color eye shadow.

      42. I will exfoliate and moisturize my feet.

      43. I will not wear too-thick makeup.

      44. I will clean my ears at least four times a week.

      45. I will consult a recent magazine to see if my makeup/hairstyle/clothes are still current.

      46. I will not feel insecure because I do not look like Laetitia Casta.

      47. I will not make lait the next girl because she looks better than me.

      48. I will be beautiful to feel good for myself, not to please other people.

      49. I will not put mashed fruits and masticated vegetables on my face.

      50. I will learn to laugh at myself when I get too vain.

Posted by primadonna at 8:14 am | permalink

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